Thoughts of Hope
by Dark-AmethystUnicorn
Summary: The Hollow Bastion group and their thoughts on losing home and on Cloud and Leon. Prequel to a fic I'm still plotting.
1. Chapter 1

Just something I came up with, originally it was merely going to be Aerith reflecting on Leon and who he used to be as Squall but the others wanted in on it so yea, it got _longer_; I've tried hard to keep all of them in character so hopefully I didn't do too bad of a job. Some feedback on characterisation would be appreciated please.

Disclaimer: As usual I don't own kingdoms hearts or these characters, unless Santa's feeling generous this xmas and gives me them.

_**Thoughts of Hope**_

**The Healer**

It's moments like this when Aerith wonders if the broken boy can ever be fixed again. When those cold impenetrable walls collapse and he cries silently into his pillow at night, whimpering the same name over and over.

"Cloud…"

Aerith sighs as Squ-Leon breaks again and feels terrible. Knowing she can't do anything but listen to the ever-withdrawing teen call for the friend he'd been so dependant on. She feels terrible as he turns seventeen, eighteen, nineteen and finally twenty; at which point the hope is gone from his eyes, replaced with ice and an independent strength; the sweet, small dimpled smile he occasionally offered hasn't been seen for _years_, and the books he once obsessed over are replaced with the gunblade and patrolling Traverse Town, making sure no Heartless stayed for long.

She feels terrible as she watches, helplessly, as Squall slowly vanishes, replaced by this withdrawn Leon who, so strong in his independence, has practically forgotten the younger boy he once clung to.

She feels hopeful when Sora arrives. In the days that follow Sora's arrival, Leon seems warmer, more prone to lingering around their small base. She spies him reading a book for _leisure_ after Sora's third visit with them. Something he hasn't done since losing Hollow Bastion and Cloud. By the time they're able to return to Hollow Bastion courtesy of Sora, Aerith's hope has tripled as Leon _smiles _that oh-so familiar smile, sweet and small and dimpled as they loiter around the library with Sora, piecing together the last of Ansem's Reports.

Then Cloud appears.

Aerith can't describe how that felt; at first it felt wonderful because they were all together and Cloud was back, Cloud could help Leon turn back into Squall; but within minutes it quickly turned the other way. Cloud wasn't the same either. He had been in the darkness and lost that cheerful light in his eyes, he didn't even look at Leon and Leon didn't look at him either. Aerith was left with two broken men to try to keep together.

Two years later Sora returned and Leon was much more warmer; offering small smiles and the occasional dry joke. Aerith didn't worry so much over Leon and often late at night, would sit in bed with a photo album sprawled across her lap, remembering Squall and comparing him to Leon and so very often, found herself thinking that the separation from Cloud (but _not_ the painful manner in which it was forced upon them) was good for him, Squall had worried too much over what people thought, especially Cloud, and relied too much on others for his survival, especially Cloud and needed people around him, _especially_ _Cloud_.

_Leon_ was more independent; he respected what people thought, especially his friends, but unlike Squall, their thoughts didn't affect him, others relied on _him_ for survival and he only depended upon the comfort of coming home to their motley family; he didn't need people around him and was often by himself when not with the committee. Aerith wonders how Squall would have developed had the Heartless never came to Radiant Garden; he'd probably still worry about what others thought of him, she thinks with mild amusement, perhaps enough so that he'd have never grown his hair out which in the opinion of the elder townsfolk made him look like a ne'er-do-well. He probably wouldn't still on others too much though, growing up would've made him more independent anyway, she rationalises.

But he'd definitely still cling to Cloud; before the Heartless, Aerith cannot remember a single time she saw Squall without Cloud, the brunet never went anywhere unless Cloud was there or was going to meet him there. Aerith ponders what their relationship would be like; would they still be best of friends, practically brothers? Or…her eyes drift to a photo of Cloud and Squall fast asleep on the sofa tangled up in the cords of their game controllers, sleeping so very close together…perhaps they'd be more? She smiles fondly as she remembers the way Squall often blushed when Cloud smiled at him and the way Cloud would always fluster whenever Tifa _innocently_ said he and Squall looked cute together.

When Aerith imagines a life where Cloud and Squall are more than friends and thinks about how cold and distant they were now; she cries.

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**The Ninja**

When they first came to Traverse Town, Yuffie was a little girl and didn't know Aerith or Squall-who-wanted-to-be-Leon very well. But she knew them well enough that when Squall started to cry softly at night and Aerith would listen helplessly and sigh, unable to do anything, that it was best to pretend she was fast asleep and that it never happened. She also had to make sure to be extra happy the following morning so maybe –_maybe_- Squall would smile again because he looked very handsome and really nice when he did. She liked Squall and Aerith; Aerith was sweet and gentle and when she was healing her cuts and scrapes Yuffie could pretend that it was mother –or better yet- that Aerith was her older sister and had always been there. Squall was a little scary though, every day he got a little colder, trained a little longer and read his heavy books with the _biiiiig_ words a little less.

Yuffie didn't know who this Cloud was, that Squall missed really badly and cried for whenever he was very exhausted or had had a _really_ bad day. But she did know that she wanted him to come to Traverse Town so Squall wouldn't be so sad and could smile his nice smile. But Cloud never came and Yuffie grew from a child to a teen and Squall became Leon and Leon never smiled or read those impressive books and he didn't seem to remember that Cloud fellow either. That made Yuffie sad because Leon, cold though he was, had become the big brother in her little family and she –with all her great ninja skills- couldn't make Leon smile.

Then Sora came and Yuffie had hope. Leon was a bit warmer –not enough so that he'd smile or laugh with her whenever she hid Cid's smokes, but warm enough that Yuffie didn't need to factor in his reaction when she plotted her pranks, even though he was staying around their base more often. And sometime after one of Sora's first few visits Yuffie found Aerith smiling brightly as she peeked into the living room. Curious Yuffie had joined her and nearly giggled in glee because Leon was reading of his books for the fun of it and she knows from Cid and Aerith that Leon hasn't touched his books since they arrived. Yuffie can almost taste Aerith's hope and joy and wonders just what Squall had been like, wonders if maybe she'd have liked him more than Leon before throwing the idea away; Leon isn't so bad and he's so sweet with the Dalmatians and their puppies (Yuffie knows because she keeps watch on their house and always visits when Leon does, so she can see the soft expression on his face as he cuddles with Pongo and Perdita or plays with their pups. One time she even got a picture of it and had to run for her life; it took her _days_ to sneak into the photo shop to get them developed because Leon was staking the shop).

When Sora helped them get Hollow Bastion back, Yuffie saw able to sneak a photo of Leon's small smile, hiding the camera before he spotted her; she then giggled and hugged him, teasing him over what it took to get a smile out of him. It takes Sora, Cid and Aerith five minutes to pry her off before they can start the last of Ansem Reports.

Then about a week later, Yuffie finally met Cloud but unlike Aerith, Yuffie never felt hope at his arrival; she felt apprehension because it was hard to believe that the cheerful, protective-of-Squall Cloud she'd heard about from Aerith was this same man was looked so indifferent and didn't even _glance_ at Leon. She felt mad about that (because Cid had said Cloud was practically Squall's world), but the anger faded when she realised Leon wasn't looking at Cloud either. She felt the same despair Aerith did; because not even the infamous _Cloud's_ return could jolt Leon into smiling and being a little warmer. She decides that she'll simply have to play more pranks and antics because it was up to her to make Leon smile.

Two years later Sora returns and Yuffie is pleased to see that Leon is warming up –he's still a bloody ice prince in her books- but it's an improvement. Late at night she sits in bed with the photos she managed to take of Leon with the Dalmatians and his smile. Sometimes she wonders about Leon's past as Squall, that time when he was Cloud's own living shadow and wonders what would have happened if the Heartless never came. Would she know them? Would they be friends? Would Cloud and Squall still be friends? Or…a sly smile graces her lips as her eyes light up…would they be more?

When Yuffie imagines a life where Cloud and Leon are more than friends, she forgets completely about their current coldness and distance and gets a nosebleed.

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**The Mechanic**

When they first came to Traverse Town, Cid didn't fucking know anything about kids except that the little shits stole from his fruit trees and that they often had accidents with his windows and their damn toys. Yet despite that he took care of the three brats he'd managed to pull off world with him and despite his bloody lack of knowledge, he likes to think that he's doing okay. But when Squall starts crying at night, calling for a certain blonde, Cid feels like he's back at square one with no fucking clue as to how to be a parent and grabs a pack of cigarettes and a bottle vodka. The both of which are empty when Squall finally calms down and sleeps. As the years go by, Cid watches his three charges grow up and feels disappointment that Leon changed so drastically after being separated from Cloud, that the boy gave up hope of seeing his friend again and let himself become withdrawn and so duty-driven. He silently encourages Yuffie's silliness as she strives to coax a smile out of Leon and does what he can to make Leon life a little bit easier but damn, if that boy didn't get the short end of the fucking stick.

When he meets Sora, Cid can see a mix of Cloud and Squall in the boy and warms up to him. He warms up further once he realises that the cocky little brat somehow managed to get that stick out of Leon's ass because Leon is now reading his books again and spending time at the base. More importantly Cid spies him smiling when waving Sora off after one visit and Cid can't help but think that Sora is a fucking good friend for Leon –_for all of them_- to have.

When they return to Hollow Bastion Cid hides a smirk as Yuffie takes a photo of Leon's smile and later on he hides his concern when he finds Cloud and brings him to Hollow Bastion that neither he nor Leon will look at each other. Instead, Cloud goes all over the place searching for Sephiroth and won't look at any of them. Leon withdraws a little further and Cid can feel an odd sense of defiance in the man, almost as though in reaction to Cloud, as Leon works himself harder rebuilding their home.

When Sora comes to visit, Cid breathes a cuss of relief. He does this because, as he now shares a bedroom with Leon, he is the only one aware that the brunet is slowly wearing himself down and dwelling in the past, making him withdrawn again. Seeing Sora cheers Leon up and Cid can see the small smile on Leon's face as the man talks to the boy and hear the small, dry jokes he offers to others when some dumb bugger leaves themselves open to his sense of humour.

Unlike Yuffie and Aerith, Cid doesn't wonder how things would have turned out if Leon had stayed Squall and the Heartless had never been. He doesn't believe in 'what ifs', he believes in what was and what fucking is. And what fucking is, is two idiots who can't see the forest because of the fucking trees and who won't talk to each other beyond a little light banter on the battlefield. Cloud's story he doesn't even pretend to know (though he does wish that the fucking idiot would get his head out of his dark-ridden ass and just _talk_ to Leon), but Leon's he knows and he can sympathise with the young man even when he's busy calling Leon a fucking pansy. Leon will leap into action to save others without hesitation; that is something ingrained into him over the years of dealing with Heartless. But that same experience also means Leon is reluctant to act in personal matters. No, Cid knows that the blonde idiot will have to be the one to take action. And in that way, nothing has changed really, because Cloud always initiated things when they were kids and Squall always hesitated, never voicing an opinion until he knew Cloud's thoughts on the matter.

When Cid imagines a life where Cloud and Leon are more than friends, he sees his munny being spent on earplugs and soundproof walls because something tells him that those two will be _**loud**_ and decides to get some price quotes, because those two idiots will get together, especially if the gleam in Aerith and Tifa's eyes has anything to say with it.

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**The Martial Artist**

When they first lost Hollow Bastion, Tifa didn't know where she ended up; all she knew was that the others weren't _there_; that Aerith wasn't there to have sleepovers with, that she'd seen Cloud shoulder-deep in darkness and that Squall -uncertain, sweet little Squall- had tried so desperately to save anyone and everyone he could. She has nightmares for a long time; of Squall trying to reach Cloud and Cloud dying before he can and then she'll see her quiet friend break into a million pieces which neither she nor Aerith can piece back together. She has nightmares of Aerith, her only friend that wasn't a boy, alone and afraid somewhere much like she was, or worse not alone and in danger, so very, _very_ terrified without Tifa or Cloud to protect her. She has nightmares of Cloud losing himself in the darkness, becoming it and hurt everyone he once cared about.

When she finds Cloud some years later, she can feel herself relax because her nightmare hasn't become a reality even if Cloud has darkness in him -and out of him- that is dangerous. When they find their way to Hollow Bastion, Tifa is relieved because the friends she has missed so desperately are okay. Aerith is still her sweet caring self and welcomes Tifa home with open arms and a place to stay. Squall worries Tifa though; he is no longer Squall and insists on being called Leon –_at least until this is home again_ he claims. Leon is fiercely independent and strong and he's not the sweetly smiling, uncertain and kind boy Tifa remembers, he is a withdrawn, stoic and protective warrior. Tifa misses Squall but finds Leon is just as good a friend, having grown up well despite everything.

When Tifa meets Sora, she is able to understand why it is the keyblade master who, Aerith has told her, is able to make Leon warm up. She decides she likes Sora, something about him reminds her of Squall in the way he is searching so desperately for his friend and the way he becomes awkward when Donald and Goofy tease him about a girl named Kairi. Between chasing down Cloud she takes time to observe Leon and Sora together and decides that Sora is what she thinks Squall could have been, had he been given a normal life, but as things stand, Sora is a good influence on Leon and Tifa knows this because Leon made a small joke when speaking to her shortly after Sora's visit.

Tifa managed to catch up to Cloud once but he wouldn't look at her. Unlike the others who accepted this behaviour, Tifa demanded a reason for it. She felt guilty when Cloud explained that she was too 'bright' to look at, understanding that his experience with the darkness made it hard to look at light. A moment later a thought clicked in her head and she tackled Cloud to the ground where he was walking away.

"Is that the reason why you don't look at Leon?"

Cloud didn't answer her for a long time. In fact, she'd almost fallen asleep when he did finally speak.

"I don't look at Leon because I want to see _Squall_."

Tifa felt hope for the first time in a long time as she got off of Cloud and watched as he slowly continued towards the Bailey again. She felt a _blinding_ hope and also elation when she spied the pink tingeing Cloud's ears and only _just_ restrained herself from giving a rather Yuffie-like whoop before running off to share her discovery with Aerith.

When Tifa imagines a life where Cloud and Squall are more than friends, she sees the future and she smiles at the light in it.

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To Be Continued?

Still deciding if I want to continue this or leave it as is, let me know what you think. In the meantime have a good holiday :D


	2. Chapter 2

So here's that part two I was toying around with; reviewers wanted it and after re-reading the first part last week I wanted to see it continue too :D. I'm making this a three parter, the third part will probably be in a different style; these two chapters are most introspective than interaction and stuff. Fleshing out Cloud's story was HARD because I couldn't find much info on it and what I did find conflicted with each other. E**specially** the whole is he from Hollow Bastion or not; in an interview I read online Nomura Tetsuya says he is from there but in KH2, when he and Sephiroth disappear after their fight Goofy asks if they went back to their home world, so **wtf**?! I'll stop ranting now or else that's all you'll get this update, one long, _long_ rant on Cloud's origins in the KH canon.

A/N: I'm not really happy with characterisation in this part so a little feedback would be _loved_ please.

Part Two

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**The Lion**

When they first arrived in Traverse Town, Leon was still Squall and he was very lonely for Cloud. For the first time since he was seven (Back then Cloud had been a bossy, _hyper_ four year old), he wasn't with Cloud and it scared him. He hid it well, throwing himself into training. He was aware that Aerith knew every time he cried at night, had heard her sad sigh as she lay in the bed next to his and had seen the small twitches of her body as she restrained herself from doing anything. He was pretty confident that Yuffie only pretended to sleep during these moments (her extra chirpiness in the morning gave her away) and that Cid would duck out of the house with a bottle of alcohol and a new pack of smokes which he consumed in that sitting (Cid never remembered to put the empty containers in the bin).

Most of the time he felt nothing, just a void that Cloud had once filled. He didn't realise at first that he was reading less, the realisation came as a shock when he finally noticed the thick layer of dust on his precious books months later; he'd thrown himself into training to forget what had happened and so that if it happened again, he could do something about it.

The day he gave up hoping for Cloud's arrival was the day he became Leon.

When Leon met Sora he didn't know what to think; the keyblade master was a _kid_, younger than he was when he'd first seen Heartless. It concerned Leon that they had to rely on someone so _young_ but something about Sora made him feel like it was going to be okay. Until he met Sora, Leon hadn't realised how little he'd thought of Cloud over the past years since giving up his hope of ever seeing Cloud again. Maybe it was those cheerful bright blue eyes or maybe it was the way Sora just seemed to make everything feel like it was going to okay, but something in that boy reminded Leon of Cloud and he was both drawn and repelled by it. He found himself spending time with Sora, getting to know him and gradually the resemblance to Cloud vanished, leaving a little brother figure in the keyblade master.

Leon was the first to jump at the opportunity to go home when Sora found Hollow Bastion. When they arrived, only the castle –their once _beautiful_ castle now twisted and merged with Villain's Vale- had survived and it was run down and broken, much like the world it sat on. The library was covered in dust, footprints showing exactly where visitors had stood, footprints which also showed who, Leon noted as he came across Donald's. Everything was so different –_so_ _dark_ _and_ _broken_- in the castle but despite that, Leon finally felt at home and he couldn't help the smile that crept over his face, even after Yuffie spotted it and started to tease him and glomp him for it. He didn't mind too much that it took over five minutes to pry her off with help from the others, he was home and that's all he cared about for that moment in time.

Then Cid found Cloud and Leon didn't know what to think. He stayed in the background as Aerith hurried over to the blonde, Yuffie not too far beyond and wanting an introduction. As everyone fussed over Cloud, Leon shot discreet glances at him, unable to take in the changes; Cloud was so _different, _he'd dare to call him _dark_ and...Leon turned to look out the window as he worried his lower lip.

Cloud wouldn't look at him.

So, childish as it was, Leon decided he wasn't going to look at the blonde either.

When Sora came back, Leon had been quietly elated. He ignored the way Yuffie always muttered in his hearing that Sora was the only one he didn't show his impression of an ice statue to and he ignored the way Aerith encouraged his interaction with the keyblade master, hopeful that the boy could pry him out of his shell and the open relief Cid showed at the boy's arrival, knowing that the older man thought he was withdrawing again (working, he was _working_). Time passed quickly again, Hollow Bastion was once more Radiant Garden and Leon spent a lot of time with Sora whenever the younger brunet was in Radiant Garden and was aware that he did tend to socialise more after seeing Sora. He ignored that fact and concentrated on his work, occasionally pointing Tifa in whatever direction he'd last seen Cloud wandering.

Sometimes, like Aerith and Yuffie, Leon lets himself indulge in 'what ifs' and wonders how things would be if the Heartless and Maleficent had never been there. Quite often he'd wonder if he and Cloud would've drifted apart anyway and always feels a ping of sadness at the thought. Because he still wanted to be Cloud's friend but the blonde wouldn't look at him and barely talked to him. He didn't know what to do about that so he buried himself in more work, more patrol duty which ultimately meant less time with the blonde. This went on for a few months and Leon was content with it, _lonely_ but content because their city was slowly being restored and looked more like _home_ every day. At dinner he sometimes saw Cloud and the blonde actually talked to him (never looked though, not once). Things started to feel lighter, Leon allowed himself to lessen his workload and spend a little time talking to Cloud when neither (re: _Leon_) had much to do.

And then Cloud told Sora that he **didn't** care for their world.

That had _hurt_. Cloud _knew_ how important their world was to the committee, to _Leon_ and he _still_ said it. That had really, really hurt because it meant that the old Cloud definitely wasn't hiding somewhere deep down inside; the old Cloud had loved their world, had wanted to be someone who preserved and improved it, and the old Cloud certainly never said something that he bloody well knew would hurt Leon either. The old Cloud was gone; there was only this new Cloud who didn't care for anything but fighting Sephiroth. Leon did not like this new Cloud. _Not at all_.

As Yuffie said, "Forget going back to square one, they've gone back into the _negatives_."

Yea, Leon hadn't been very impressed. His self-inflicted heavy workload reflected that, the moment the sun rose he was out on the construction site and never returned home until late in the evening with only just enough energy to eat dinner and shower before collapsing on his bed. On top of no eye contact, Leon took the rather childish route of not even acknowledging Cloud's existence when the blonde began to hang around wherever Leon worked.

Aerith and Tifa hadn't been very impressed. They spent a lot of time goading Leon into being an adult and forgiving the blonde; Leon compromised, he started talking to Cloud again –mostly on committee matters, _pointless_ as it was- but like the blonde, refused eye contact. Neither girl liked the compromise but conceded when Leon promised to at least spend time with Cloud (though it took a lot of goading to get him to do so, Leon had a tendency to **hold** his grudges). So Cloud and Leon adopted a new routine of standing on top of the broken bailey and staring over the cliffs and fissures at sunset, never looking at the other, rarely speaking and always going their separate ways once the stars had settled into the sky for the night. And that's how it's stayed for months.

When Leon imagines a life where Cloud and he are more than friends; he sees an old, lost dream and sighs at the forgotten hope of it all.

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**The Wolf**

When they lost Hollow Bastion to Maleficent, Cloud landed in the Underworld with vivid memories of those final moments on his home world. Especially of Squall (Squall…little Squall…had to protect…wasn't there…) fighting desperately through a sea of shadows to reach a terrified little girl and the look of utter despair when the girl's heart was taken just seconds before he'd reached her. He could still picture the horror on Tifa's face as she punched and kicked and ran, trying to find _somewhere_ safe to lead the others. But there were no safe places by then. He could remember the feeling of darkness creeping up over him, of hearing _Sephiroth_ for the first time and then everything was **black **(Darkness, so much darkness…so many…too many…_shadows_…_Sephiroth_…pain…**darkness**). He woke up in the Underworld, painfully alone with nothing but an eerie fog and a dull green glow for company. He must've sat there for at least a day –it was hard to keep time in the Underworld; at any rate, quite a few hours had passed before he finally moved, deciding to find out where he was and if the others were there (They _had_ to be there…couldn't be elsewhere…where…where…_**where**_?!).

It was another stretch of time before he found answers. Somehow he was alive in the land of the dead (Alive, _alive_…Underworld…how? _Alone. I'm ALONE_). His friends weren't there. He didn't have the means to leave the world to search either. His answers had brought him fresh concerns; were the others together? Separated? Were most of them together and perhaps one of them alone like him? Was Squall? That thought plagued him for a long time, well after he signed the contract with Hades and began his foolish attempt to exploit the darkness. No matter what he did, his mind was always, _always_ plagued with the image of Cid, Aerith and Tifa, together and surviving; and Squall, alone and scared. Squall may have been older, but he was also more…_vulnerable_. Even when they were kids, it was Cloud's job to look after Squall; that had been his special job as a child and he'd loved it. But now…now he wasn't there and he couldn't help Squall (No, no, no, **no**. Have to be _there_…_have to help_…).

For nine long (long, _long_, painful, **dark**) years he worked for Hades, odd jobs mostly for the purpose of gaining experience (**darkness**…_Sephiroth_…pain) before Hades finally took him out of the Underworld and to the coliseum. All he had to do was defeat Hercules and Hades would help him find the others, find Squall. It was a mantra in his head by then, repeating itself, strengthening, even as the emotions connected to that goal faded away with his light. Having observed Hercules, Cloud had known that he could take the demi-god down, had known that it wouldn't be long before that nine year old goal was _accomplished_.

The glitch in that plan was _Sora_. He hadn't expected to fight the keyblade master and he certainly hadn't expected the boy to remind him of _Squall_. He found himself unable to cause the boy any lasting harm, flickers of old memories and emotions rendering him unable to, and he couldn't help but see those blue eyes change to a stormy grey-blue every time he bore down on Sora, about to deal a critical blow. Hades didn't appreciate the glitch, irregardless of the fact that Sora wasn't part of their contact. He terminated the contact and sent Cerberus into the arena.

Embarrassingly enough, Hercules and Sora had saved him.

Sora had approached him after the debacle. Their conversation had only furthered the likeness to Squall in Cloud's mind, memories ringing clearer each minute (Familiar…different…_hope_). For the first time in years Cloud let himself smile and take his life in his own hands, resolving to find the others on his own terms.

He ran into Tifa at one point; much like himself, she'd been alone for most of the nine years but, unlike him, she was still _light _(_too light…hurts to look…__**can't**__ look_). She hadn't seen the others and had been more than upset that he hadn't either. They lost track of each other shortly after that; Cloud had to leave to follow up rumours of Sephiroth back at the coliseum. Instead he ran into Cid who insisted on his return to Hollow Bastion.

Hollow Bastion had looked so different (**Dark** like me…not light…not _home_). Gone was the beautiful cobblestone streets and lush green parks where they'd once played as children, there was only the castle and rising falls. Everything looked so broken…except the library. It was full of _light_ and familiar faces. And one familiar but so different one; after a quick inspective glance, Cloud didn't look at Squall again. Squall _wasn't_ Squall anymore; Aerith said he insisted upon Leon (No…_Squall_…come back?). His eyes were no longer wide and trusting but narrowed and cynical, hardened by life's lessons…and that scar (Where'd it come from?...Hurt?...No, no, **failed**…). It wasn't Squall so Cloud never looked at him. He didn't spend all those years in a literal hell for someone that _wasn't Squall_. The only traces of that boy he'd been so attached to as a kid was in the time and effort the brunet poured into rebuilding their world (Promise…we'd promised to protect _everything_…home…_light_…**important**…).

Shortly after Tifa found her way home too. She kept trying to catch up with him (Couldn't let her…hurts…too much _light_…too **dark**.). She did manage to catch him one time and asked if he didn't look at Leon because he was too light (No, no, just not Squall…_need_ to see _Squall_, not Leon…stranger…_light_…**darkness**). He didn't know why he told her the truth, he should've just agreed and left it at that…but he'd never been able to hide the truth from her (Never, **ever**…she _always_ finds out…damnit). He brooded over it for days as he dodged her again…this time because she wanted him to _look_ at Leon (No time…have to find and destroy **Sephiroth**).

When Sora returned to Hollow Bastion, he felt the first flicker of emotion in a long time; jealously. The Keyblade master seemed to bring out Squall from his Leon-shell so effortlessly (I never tried though…_maybe_…no…too **dark…**can't try…can't…not until** Sephiroth **is gone), Cloud could feel the resentment blooming as the boy drew the man into a good mood that always lasted well after his visits. He ignored the way the others saw the visits as a good thing and the way it felt like he'd been replaced. Instead he tries to make small amends; he talks to Leon (First time though, Leon was too _stunned_ to respond…). It's amicable and small, tiny hints of their old friendship slowly begins to emerge; old small but private jokes timidly offered during a quiet moment in front of the fire at night when Cloud wasn't out searching for Sephiroth.

And then he opened his mouth and said he didn't care for their world, only about defeating Sephiroth.

In hindsight, that wasn't the smartest idea he'd had. (_Not quite the stupidest either_…)

It had stung when Leon completely ignored him because Cloud had thought, despite his inability to look at the man, that he was finally starting to see Squall again. Instead of hunting down Sephiroth like he should've been, he started loitering around Leon's workspace, trying to get an acknowledgement from the feisty brunet who stubbornly tried to ignore him. Tifa and Aerith helped out in the end; according to an amused Yuffie, they'd lectured Leon on mature behaviour (_Leon_…they _lectured_ Leon!). Their talks were hesitantly resumed, mostly on restoration matters (damnit…can't help…**Sephiroth**) and they started to spend time together in the bailey, just watching the sun set most nights, sometimes they talked. The one time Cloud chanced a glance at Leon, he could have sworn he saw traces of _Squall_…

When Cloud imagines a life where he and Squall are more than friends; he looks at his past and wonders if things between them can be fixed.

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Well, that's part two. Still deciding how I'll do the next bit; I was thinking of maybe a few highlights from pre-Heartless Hollow Bastion somewhere in it. Knowing me though, I'll change my mind on how to continue it at least a dozen times before getting around to writing it.

Remember to R&R please; I would like some feedback on my characterisation


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